Bear at the Door

The tea is taking an extra long time to boil today. Can tea do that? If the temperature and the amount of water stays the same, can the time it takes to boil vary each day? Or does the time just feel different depending on how patient I am that day? It does seem that it takes particularly longer when I’m in a rush. Or if I’m especially bored that day, the tea seems to take ages to reach the desired temperature. That seems to be the case today. I’ve only been standing next to the kettle for about a minute and yet it seems as though it’s been hours. Maybe I forgot to turn on the stove? Nope. It’s on. Did I put the water in? Yes, yes I did.
Someone is knocking on my door. I let out a huff and push myself off the counter. Still listening for the familiar sound of the kettle hissing, I make my way over to the front door. I peek through the peephole before opening the door. I used to never look before opening the door, but then that thing with Ryan had happened. He had just finished his shower when someone knocked on his door. Assuming it was one of his friends, he opened it, still in his towel.
It ended up being a robber.
He made it through the ordeal alive, but since then I’ve always looked first.
It’s just Chloe. She’s glancing down the hall, huddling close to the door. I frown. She’s usually smiling, looking straight at the peephole, knowing I see her. I open the door and she rushes in, closing it behind her.
“Hey, Chloe. Everything okay?” I ask. She shakes her head, still glancing around. “Chloe. Chill. What’s up? Did Jared call you again?”
“No.” She chokes out. In the small word I can detect a shaky tone to her voice.
“Then what happened?” She doesn’t answer. She just shakes her head and walks to the living room. I watch her sit down and put her head in her hands. She’s not crying, though I can tell something just happened. The last time I saw her like this was when Jared had confronted her at the campus Starbucks. She had tried to ignore him and leave, but he’d grabbed her and started yelling. Thankfully, our friend was there to push him off and get her back to her apartment. He’d called me on the way and I was there with tea and cookies immediately.
Speaking of tea, mine is still not ready. That’s frustrating. I want to offer some to Chloe but I don’t hear the hissing yet.
I sit next to her and gently place a hand on her leg. She winces and I pull my hand back. “Chloe?” I ask again.
“I didn’t mean to.” She says sounding wrecked.
“What happened?”
She looks at me and I see tears streaming down her face. I guess she was crying. “I swear it was an accident.” Once, when I was babysitting my nieces, Addie had come up to me, crying, and repeating ‘It was an accident, I promise.’ I didn’t know what she was talking about until I found her baby sister in their bedroom with blood covering the lower half of her face. I don’t know what happened exactly, but somehow, Addie had busted her baby sister’s chin. It probably was an accident, but Addie had still been spanked when her father had gotten home.
“What was an accident?” I ask Chloe in the same tone I had asked Addie all those months ago.
“Jared.” She sobbed. So it was the scumbag ex. “I killed him.”
Somewhere behind me the kettle starts hissing. I ignore it, blinking, not really understanding what she just said. “You… You what?” I stutter. She must have meant something else. Or maybe she meant figuratively, not literally.
But, no. It makes sense now. The way she keeps glancing over her shoulders. The barely noticeable shake in her hands. The dirt on her knees. The quiver of her lips. The bruise on her chin. Bruise? “Chloe, did he hit you?” I ask. She looks away. “Chloe!” She turns back to me and nods slowly. I jump up, anger pumping through my veins. “I’ll kill him.” I whisper.
But, right. I turn back to Chloe, hearing her hitch in a breath at my words before continuing to sob. “Chloe, I’m sorry.” I slowly sit down next to her, my mind running. She’s serious. She killed him. Somehow, someway, they had gotten into another fight except this time it ended with Jared… dead. “You have to tell me what happened.” She shakes her head and lets it fall into her hands. The hissing continues behind me. Irritated, I stand up and quickly make my way to the kitchen, moving the kettle to a burner that’s not on. When I come back, Chloe is up and pacing. Placing my hands on her shoulder, I whisper, “What happened, Chloe?” She takes a deep breath and nods before beginning her explanation.

Man on the Stairs

*This story is prompted by “The Man on the Stairs” by Miranda july.*

How many stages of sleep are there? When is the point that you’re so asleep someone has to shake you to wake you up? At what point do you start dreaming the crazy dreams you won’t remember in the morning? How long does that in-between stage last? The one where you’re not fully asleep but you’re not awake either. You’re aware of the world around you, but in a distant sort of way?
I wish that stage lasted longer. It’s my favorite part of sleeping. My mind wanders to anything and everything yet I still have a small amount of control as to where it goes. In those moments, I’m no longer awake, but I know that my feet are still crossed one over the other. I can still smell the food that Max hasn’t eaten yet. I can feel the sheet on my bare shoulders and I’m aware of the breaths I take.
I can hear the steps outside, coming up the stairs.
My mind is shutting down, not wanting to react fully to what I just heard, but a few moments pass and I’m positive I hear someone walking up the stairs. I wake up completely and assume its Will, but he’s out of town for the weekend, visiting his fiancé and her family. I blink three times, my heart beat racing.
This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening. Someone is in my apartment. Maybe they’re lost? Maybe it’s one of Will’s friends? Maybe it’s some drunken college kid? Except I know it’s none of these things. I know what’s really happening and suddenly the back of my neck is sweating. I roll over in my bed, careful to not make any noise. Maybe if he-I assume it is a male-doesn’t hear me, he’ll turn around and leave. Or if he comes in here, thinking no one is home, it’ll give me a surprise advantage. Maybe I can attack him. I could wait until he’s close to the bed before I pounce on him. It’s dark in here, so he won’t know I’m here until he hears me. But what if he has a weapon? He’ll most likely have a weapon. And he’s probably much bigger than me. I was never really good in a fight, anyways. I remember once, when I was just ten, a bigger kid on the playground wanted to know why I didn’t talk much. I had told him it was because I like observing and listening. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for, apparently.
I went home with a black eye that day and Lizzie had immediately started fussing and asking questions. She’d sat me down and nursed my small wounds, wanting to know what had happened. I remember her saying, “I will mess up whoever did this to you. No one messes with my little brother.” At the time I had found that comforting, but it wasn’t till later that I figured out having a girl take care of you wasn’t very honorable. Even if that girl is your seven-year-older sister who is much stronger than you.
Lizzie’s a big shot lawyer now, exactly what mom always wanted her to be. She lives in the country with her husband, two kids and a cat. I still see her often, but all she wants to talk about is my new job at the marketing company. I always put on a smile, chatting away about my coworkers and the office gossip. She seems happy.
The steps are getting closer now. My eyes are wide open, adjusted to the dark room. I see Max is asleep and unmoving. Good. Hearing a bird while intruding into someone’s house would probably set off his warning bells. And then he’d probably come in and kill Max. I don’t think I could handle that. Cassie gave me Max for my birthday this year. It was the best birthday present ever. I had spent the entire day painting him with my signature tie draped over my shoulders.
“Why do you wear that thing?” Cassie had asked from her seat on the windowsill.
“The tie?” I had asked. She’d nodded. “I don’t know. I have to wear one for work, but I’ve always liked how they look. Especially untied like this.”
“But it’s called a tie.” She stressed the word tie and I’d laughed at her overdramatic gesturing. “By definition, it’s meant to be tied.”
I had just shaken my head and continued painting. That was a beautiful painting. At least Cassie had thought so. No one else had, or has, seen it.
My eyes itch. I want to reach up and scratch them, but I find all my muscles are frozen in place. The man is almost to the top of the stairs. That I can tell. I wonder what kind of man he is. What does he look like? Tall? Big shoulders? Bald? Tattooed? I bet he doesn’t look like a murderer. Hey, I don’t look like a business major. Not with my big ears, skinny frame, and long nose. But I don’t look like an artist either. I did. Until my mom made me cut off all my hair. I had liked it long, but she’d said it was unprofessional. I guess she was right. I got a job the next day.
I wish I still had my long hair.
He’s outside my door now.
Max wakes up and starts chirping.

I have begun a youtube channel!! Please check it out! I am vlogsisters with a wonderful Canadian Redhead and we will be posting vlogs weekly! 

TheRedTheBlondAndTheLemonade

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJdNkrZPESQB3IaXKRPBw-g

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

I am terrified to write a review about this book.

Why, you may ask.

 

How can one explain God’s goodness? How can one put into words the love He has for us? How can one explain the feeling of loving your newborn child? How can one explain the feeling you get while kissing the one person you love more than anyone? Is it possible to understand the mere beauty of a twinkling sky from the middle of nowhere without being there yourself? How can one express the magnificent taste of a Chili’s molten chocolate cake?

You can’t.

There just aren’t words for the greater things in life.

And I cannot fathom words to explain this book.

 

Every avid reader stumbles across a terrible book in their lifetime. All of them read multiple okay books. We all have read and will read good books. Hopefully, we can all recite our favorite books, the great ones we have read.

I have books for every category.

But how often do we stumble across a book that we love SO much, that we are almost… jealous of it? A book we don’t want to share, because it’s our special book?

I have a few of those.

And I just read another one.

But the thing is, when something is as amazing as love for a baby, a kiss, the midnight sky or, yes, a Chili’s molten chocolate cake, you can’t NOT share it.

EVERYONE should know the beauty that is Daughter of Smoke and Bone.

When I think of my favorite books, many come to mind, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (still my favorite single book, the brilliance of that book fits into the above category of things you cannot explain), Gone by Michael Grant, of course, The Hunger Games and Harry Potter, and multiple Ted DeKker (my favorite author) books. But from now on, I have a new book to add to that list.

It has been a while (six months) since I have read a book and fell utterly in love with the world, the characters, the plot and the author. I’ve read good books, but it has been six months since I have read a… near perfect book. (Excluding TFIOS) My heart… I haven’t loved, been invested, CRIED, screamed, stiffened or been glued to a book in so long.

I can’t put into words this book. The writing and the style is great. I loved the order of the stories. I love the characters, the connections and the plot. I love how this isn’t a love story that is ONLY of love story. There is so much more. There’s more meat, more emotion, more things to care about.

THIS ISN’T A FAIRTALE.

But it is.

THIS ISN’T ABOUT ANGELS AND DEMONS

But it is.

THIS ISN’T A STORY ABOUT A MAGICAL WORLD APART FROM OUR OWN

But… it is.

I don’t know how to explain it. Laini Taylor took an idea and stripped it to the bones. She took what we’ve known, what we have read before, and made her own world around it. And I applaud her.

 

Have you finished reading TFIOS? Good. Now read this. It may be one of the very few books that won’t disappoint you after reading that one.

Matched by Ally Condie

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Just don’t.

The cover is so pretty. It drew me in and grabbed my attention. It begged me to get lost in this… adventure. It promised me my time would not be wasted.

Lies.
This book is not what I expected in any way. It left me bored and disappointed. You know when you are at a restaurant and you pick up the dessert menu and see a delicious looking chocolate cake on the cover? You know the one. A piece is cut away and warm chocolate molten is pouring out. Chocolate dribble is delicately draped over the top and a plump scoop of vanilla ice cream is strategically placed on the side. Your mouth is watering and your eyes blur. You HAVE to get a piece. So you order and wait not-so-patiently for your own little piece of heaven.
But your heart drops when you see the waiter approach your table. Disappointment fills your bones as he sets a sad piece of chocolate bread in front of you. That is not what you ordered.
That’s what reading this book is like.
It’s not terrible. There are no bugs in the cake and it’s still warm, but it’s not the delicious piece of cake you were waiting for.
Some say it was a rip-off from The Giver, The Hunger Games, or delirium, but even setting that aside I was disappointed. I had to force myself to finish the book. I was so bored. The characters were well-developed, I’ll give you that, but the plot was not. There was no climax and no reason to keep reading. The love story wasn’t even attractive.
So read this book if you want. Judge it yourself. But I suggest you go back to The Fault In Our Stars. You will be much more satisfied.

The fault in our stars by John Green

If you have not yet read this book, I’m extremely sorry. This book may just be my new favorite (passing showdown, by Ted DekKer). At first glance, I thought the writing was sloppy and un-perfessionaly.
But i have never been more wrong.
John Green is a genius. His writing is amazing and this book leaves the readers sitting in a dull stupor… or in a puddle of their own tears.
Don’t pick this up if you absolutely cannot stand sad stories or if you can’t handle cancer stories. It is intense, I won’t lie, but man is it amazing.
I read it in one day. Seriously, started it in the morning and finished it at night.
It is about two teenage cancer patients, Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace, who, against all odds, fall in love. I won’t get into details, you’ll find that out after you’ve started the book.
There are countless of things I love about this book.
I love the way Augustus and hazel interact with each other. The way Augusts talks is humorous and both sophisticated and innocent. I love how he greets Hazel by saying “Hazel Grace”.
I love how it’s all so simple and yet so complicated.
I love how he cares so much and his yet so carefree.
I love the symbolism and the comedic relief.
I love how non-cliche it is.
I love John Green’s style of writing. The run-on sentences and simple statements.
I love the random, seemingly useless conversations between the characters.
I love how John Green just randomly explains the littles, most unimportant things. I love how this symbolizes that the little things are what make up friendships, relationships and life. It’s not the big gestures, but the small ones.
I love how the characters talk and who they are.
I love the deep, thoughtful one-liners that make up this story.
I love this book.

Just a few one-liners, not even the most popular ones:
You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.
People always get used to beauty though.
Love is just a shout into the void, and oblivion is inevitable.
Okay? Okay.

There are so many more but those stuck out to me.

READ IT.
The movie comes out on June 6th, so you better hurry.

Epic of Gilgamesh

I thouroughly enjoy The Epic of Gilgamesh, because it does reflect how these old epics were written. Many of them do have a protagonist who, in the beginning of the story, can be a real jerk. The protagonist is usually male, in this case, Gilgamesh, and is often extremely arrogant and, to put it in the nicest way possible, unkind. Gilgamesh is all these things. He is king, but not popular-amongst-his-people-because-of-his-kindness king. He is selfish, arrogent, oppressive and brutal ruler. Although, like most of the epics around this time, the story takes you on the adventure with the protagonist, during which he seems to become a better person. Similarily, The Epic of Gilgamesh has a sidekick who comes along to help and befriend the protagonist. His name is Enkidu, and unfortunatley, the story ends badly for him. Most sidekick’s stories do have a tragic ending, and enkidu’s happens to be death by a strange illness after he and Gilgamesh have angered not one, but two gods. These gods being Enlil and Ishtar (goddess). Through this, another epic story pattern is seen, that of divine intervention. Also, the epic follows different adventures the characters go on, one of which being the defeat of Humbaba by Gilgamesh and Enkidu. Another is written towards the end when Gilgamesh goes on a long journey searching for immortality after Enkidu’s death. As stated before, this particular epic is very similar to the others and I love how the characters reflect different human charactersitcs. Such as the wildness of human nature portrayed through Enkidu and his life in the wild. Also, the selfishness of Gilgamesh that soon evolves into selflessness for his best friend Enkidu. Also, the women in the story portray many different human natures.

The women of The Epic of Gilgamesh are tremendously important to the story. Many of them interfere for the men, or even help them. Such as Shamat, the sexual priestess. She appears at the beginning of the tale, sent to aid Enkidu into entering human society. She feeds him, bathes him, and introduces him to Gilgamesh. In a strange way, she portrays the helpful, motherly nature of humans. Another woman, Gilgamesh’s actual mother, intervenes to help him by pleading to the gods for help with success for Gilgames. Siduri, the tavern keeper, also helps Gilgameh by pointing out the way to Utanapishtim. But not all the woman were helpful. Ishtar I believe shows how humans can be very passionate and how hatred can cause someone to make rash decisions. She asks for Gilgamesh to be her lover but not only does he dicline, but he also makes fun of her, causing her to become angry and send the bull of heaven on Gilgamesh and Enkidu. She’s unlike the other woman but I do still believe many of us can relate with her.

Prodigy by Marie Lu

I give Prodigy by Marie Lu four stars.. or maybe 4.2… 4.5? Anyways, it was amazing. Better than legend in my opinion. I hope this is one of those dystopian series that just gets better with age, because so far that’s true.
June’s character development was phenomenal. During Legend she got under my skin. I just couldn’t handle her anymore, but she truly did grow throughout the second book. Her own voice developed, making the differences between June and Day more noticeable. She’s more cautious about who she believes in and trusts. She becomes the person everyone said she was. And honestly, I almost wanted her to move on from Day. Whom, bugged me more in this book.
His blind faith in people was frustrating. He hated one side because that’s what he had been brought up to think. He didn’t figure anything out for himself and he certainly didn’t listen to June. He was no longer deserving of her, although I do still have a soft spot for him.
Especially at the last chapter.
*sniff*
The plot could have been thicker and I would have loved to know more about the Colonies. It moved to fast for me and I didn’t stay as grasped as I was during Legend, therefore it took me longer to read. Although obviously I would still recommend this book to anyone.
I could say so much more but for fear of spoilers, I’m going to stop here.
I can’t wait to read Champion, in fact I’m kind of dying.
Read it.
Enjoy it.
You’re welcome.

We all have one goal in life. To make it to the next day. We don’t all reach our goals.

-Hana Lee “Sincerely Your Friends” By: Madison Lawson.

Maybe I’m A Playwright.

ORIGNAL PLAY BY MADISON LAWSON

(Two girls walking. Both are age sixteen.)

ALYSSA

I heard you got second this last weekend! That’s amazing!

BEAN

Thanks! It was awesome! I got my best time yet. Wish you could have been there though.

ALYSSA

Yeah me too. Sorry I wasn’t.

BEAN

It’s fine! Sarah did all right in your place, but no one is as good as The Great Alyssa. How are you feeling?

ALYSSA

Much better, thanks. I’m not sure what it was.

(Pause.)

Probably just a stomach bug.

BEAN

Well I’m glad you’re better. Just don’t make me sick.

(Girls laugh. Boy walks by.)

BRIAN

Hey Bean.

BEAN

Brian! Hey.

BRIAN

How are you? Heard you medaled in this weekend’s competition.

BEAN

Yeah, it was no big deal.

BRIAN

Oh that’s not what I hear. Apparently you were the best one out there. I wish I could have seen it. Maybe I’ll come to the next meet.

BEAN

Maybe you should.

BRIAN

All right, well, I’ll see you Bean. Bye,

(Pause.)

ALYSSA

Alyssa.

BRIAN

Oh right, Alyssa. Bye guys. I’ll see you later. Maybe this weekend at the next meet.

BEAN

Hopefully. Bye!

(Boy exits)

(Bean turns to Alyssa)

BEAN

Oh my gosh. That was Brian Smothers. He is extremely attractive.

ALYSSA

Yeah, he is.

BEAN

You think he likes me?

ALYSSA

Probably! I mean, come on Bean, Don’t they all?

BEAN

Oh shut up Alyssa!

ALYSSA

I’m serious! Face it; you’re a guy magnet.

BEAN

Whatever, you’re just jealous.

(Girls laugh. Alyssa stops short.)

(Girls walk to stage right. Face down stage. Seem to be looking into mirror, checking faces and hair.)

BEAN

Are you coming this afternoon?

ALYSSA

To practice?

BEAN

Yeah, I didn’t know if you felt good enough.

ALYSSA

Oh, I’ll definitely be there.

BEAN

Good. What are you doing now a days anyways? Six? Seven?

(Pause.)

ALYSSA

Eight, almost nine.

BEAN

Dang. Like I said, we need The Great Alyssa.

(Pause, girls continue to check faces.)

BEAN

All right, well I need to be going. I’m going to be late to my next class.

(Bean begins to exit.)

ALYSSA

Bye Bean!

BEAN

Bye girl!

(Bean exits. Alyssa stands in front of mirror for a few seconds, examining self. She turns and walks upstage, entering stall)

(Two girls enter)

GIRL 1

Of course I didn’t go. I couldn’t care less about the track team.

GIRL 2

But I heard that one girl… Bean was it? Did really well.

GIRL 1

She did? Did she win?

GIRL 2

No, but she got second I think. She’s supposed to be, like, the best one on the team.

GIRL 1

I thought that other chick, Bean’s best friend, was the amazing one

GIRL 2

Alyssa? She is. But she does long distance. That’s a different category than Bean’s.

GIRL 1

And she’s supposed to be good right?

GIRL 2

Supposedly. That’s what I hear, anyways.  

GIRL 1

I don’t see how.

GIRL 2

What do you mean?

GIRL 1

Well, aren’t runners supposed to be…

(Pause.)

GIRL 2

Be what?

GIRL 1

You know, aren’t they supposed to be…

(Pause.)

like super thin? I mean, they run constantly.

GIRL 2

Yeah?

GIRL 1

And running burns calories, helps you lose weight right?

GIRL 2

Yes.

GIRL 1

Well that girl Alyssa isn’t is she?

GIRL 2

Isn’t what?

GIRL 1

Thin.

GIRL 2

Oh yeah I guess I haven’t thought about that.

GIRL 1

I mean she’s not awfully big, but still.

GIRL 2

No I see what you mean. You’d think all she eats is carbs.

GIRL 1

Maybe she does.

(Girls laugh and exit)

(Alyssa leaves stall. Walks downstage. Stops in front of mirror. Phone rings. Alyssa answers.)

ALYSSA

Hello?

(Pause.)

Oh hey mom. Yeah I’m good. No I don’t need to come home. I’m feeling fine. I promise. Yeah I did. She’s great. Yes she told me about getting second place. Yes mom I know. I’m almost to nine miles. I’m not pushing myself to hard I promise. Okay, and next period. No I promise I won’t eat any of the deserts. I’m being careful, I promise. I know mom I’m watching it. Well what if I don’t want one. I know looks are important. Okay mom I get it. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.

(Hangs up phone. Sighs.)

(Girl enters)

CARRIE

Oh hey Alyssa

ALYSSA

Hey Carrie how are you?

CARRIE

I’m great you?

ALYSSA

Good, feeling much better after being sick this weekend.

CARRIE

Good!

(Girls turn to mirror.)

CARRIE

So I’m trying this new diet. It lasts for a month and so far it’s great!

ALYSSA

Really? Cool!

CARRIE

Yeah, you should definitely try it.

ALYSSA

Yeah? Okay! Just send me some information.

CARRIE

Okay! Well I better be going, bye! Glad you’re feeling better.

ALYSSA

Bye!

(Alyssa looks in mirror. Turns to side, sucks in gut. Examines self. Grabs stomach. Turns to other side and straightens posture. Faces mirror, puts hands on hips. Examines body. Sighs, turns to exit)

(Alyssa wavers at door. Falls over, passed out.)

(Carrie enters. Sees Alyssa.)

CARRIE

Oh my gosh! Alyssa!

(Kneels next to Alyssa.)

Wake up! Alyssa! Help! Someone help! Alyssa! Alyssa?